I Am Despondent

I am despondent.

I received news that did not make my world any brighter.

I was fidgeting throughout the Mass, praying that I will make the right decision.

Half of me is willing to let go. The other half of me is not able to let go.

The memories seem like still fresh. I thought time will make everything alright. It does not. Time makes everything worse.

I keep thinking, "What could I do to make things better?" "What should I do next?"

I can't find the answer.

All I know, see and taste is the emptiness in me.

Yes, I am despondent.